Book Excerpt: Coaches: Don’t Fall Into the Parent Trap!

February 1st, 2012




There is sometimes an expectation on the part of parents that the coach will base services around whatever it is that the parent wants instead of asking the young person to set goals and then building the coaching around those goals.

It’s the coach’s job to be on the lookout for parent directives and to be careful to not fall into the trap of serving the parent rather than the client. Setting clear expectations and boundaries during the prescreening process will help the parent know how coaching is supposed to unfold and what guidelines should be followed during the coaching process.

This does not mean that the parent’s concerns are ignored. Instead, the coach invites the parent to discuss those concerns openly with the coach and client, and the coach then creates an opportunity to compare and contrast the parent’s concerns with those of the client. If there is agreement on the part of the client that the parent’s concern rings true, the coach helps the parent and client work together to ascertain the level of priority for that particular concern amid other coaching concerns and goals.

Sometimes clients decide they want to address the same goals that their parents have suggested, such as getting to sleep earlier in order to arrive at school on time in the morning. Other times, clients decide a concern is not important enough to focus on in coaching, such as making their bed every day, because it will divert energy from other important goals, like remembering to take morning medication or being focused and ready to ace the calculus test.

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A Heartfelt Story from a JST Coach Training Student

January 30th, 2012




The following article was written by Kathy Sussell, a coach in NYC, who is currently enrolled in the JST Coach Training program, Coaching Teens & College Students with ADHD. Read Kathy’s personal, and emotional, story that led her to coach young people with ADHD.  Thanks, Kathy!

Destination: ADHD Coaching

by Kathy Sussell

I started my car and set my GPS to travel across Brooklyn. It’s a cool October night and I’m driving to meet my new coaching client, an eleven year old boy with ADHD. His mom contacted me because he’s having a hard time at school.

When the GPS’s anonymous female voice tells me turn right or left I do and I follow all of her directions on auto pilot. Finally she tells me I have reached my destination and I park my car. Then I realize I am in front of PS 216  — my elementary school alma mater.

I begin to feel anxious and my chest tightens at the sight of the school. Memories begin to flood my mind but I don’t want to revisit the bleak landscape of my youth even for a minute.  I resist returning to a time that was filled with pain, shame, and heartbreaking loneliness.

School was torture. I didn’t “get” things the same way that the other kids did. I went to elementary school in the 1950’s before anyone heard of ADHD.  If you were inattentive, disorganized and impulsive as I was, you were just BAD.

I cringe when I think about those days. I avoid dwelling in the past. When my kids were small they had a habit of running full steam ahead while looking back over their shoulders. “Look where you’re going, not where you’ve been,” I would shout at them. That became my motto, my strategy for dealing with life.  Yet as I stare into the silent schoolyard where I played as a child I am transported back to a bright, cold winter’s day in 1959. I hear the shouts and laughter of children playing in the yard, girls are jumping rope and boys are chasing each other.

I peer across time and strain to see my 10 year old self and suddenly there I am.  I recognize myself from a blurry picture of me in fifth grade — fifth grade, a skinny girl with glasses held together with a safety pin and a button missing from her coat. One of my friends took it with a Kodak Brownie Camera and gave it to me.

I am running around the yard, delighted for the reprieve from the row of wooden desks, the crushing boredom and my teacher, Mrs. Nash, whom I never failed to disappoint.

She had a warm smile and kind words for the  other kids but not for me. She was the teacher who told me not to sing with the other kids, just move my lips because I sang off key. When the entire fifth grade took a spelling test to determine who should represent the school in the city wide spelling bee I received the highest grade but Mrs. Nash said she couldn’t recommend me to compete. “You’re a girl who doesn’t try hard enough, you’re just too lazy and sloppy to win a spelling bee.” she said.

But for now, I look so happy, just a scrawny kid running around pretending to be a horse. When recess is over I will be reprimanded again for forgotten homework, my messy notebook, and for staring out the window. I run free in the yard, with my stringy hair, unbuttoned coat, anklet socks slipping down into my scuffed shoes and knobby knees with the scabs falling off. It’s freezing cold but I have no hat or scarf or gloves. I must have lost them or maybe I never had them.

I reach through the fence and wave to my phantom self but she can’t see or hear me. Her mind is elsewhere.  I push through time and the metal fence to run alongside her. I take her freezing hand in mine. I send her my prayers. “Life will not always be so hard. You will love and be loved, be strong. Embrace who you are and love yourself.”

I turn away and I’m back in 2011. I reach into my purse and take out a tissue to dry my eyes. I breathe deeply to find my center. I steady myself, placing my feet carefully, as I cross the street and leave the past behind. I pause a moment outside my clients door.

Now I am ready to coach, eager to reach out my hand to another child — a child I have yet to meet but feel I know.  I am eager to meet him and hope I can help. I will smile and ask him to tell me all the great things I should know about him and I will listen as hard as I can. I have reached my destination.

Kathy Sussell is an NYU Certified Professional Life Coach specializing in coaching adolescents, young adults, and adults with ADHD. Kathy helps her clients create structure, manage their time, organize their belongings, improve their social skills and reach their goals.

 kathy@bravolifecoaching.com

 

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Book Excerpt: Josh, the Video Game Designer

January 25th, 2012




Josh was an 18-year-old client who wanted to go into the field of video game design. He loved to play games on his own computer and clearly recognized the need for improvement in his favorite online game. When first discussing his interest in video game design during the coaching intake, Josh became frustrated and agitated. He wanted to get out of school now and go to work for the company that designed his favorite game. With the support of his coach, Josh was able to step back from his frustration by creating a structure and a plan, captured in the PCA (Personal Coaching Agreement), through which he would contact the video gaming company with his ideas while staying in school and on task in order to complete his studies and graduate in six months. The coach provided a safe space for Josh to address his present frustrations while simultaneously planning for the future.

Josh’s story represents the power of support and structure to help young people make decisions that will facilitate successful completion of their own goals. In particular, Josh was able to work on his goals and dreams within a structure that kept those goals realistic and intact. Because the coach offered nonjudgmental support, Josh was able to clearly see his goals and the steps he agreed to take to reach those goals. The clarity of his PCA afforded Josh the opportunity to follow his dream while focusing on accomplishing the tasks at hand, which, in turn, helped facilitate his long-term goal of becoming a video game designer. Ultimately, the support and structure offered in the coaching experience helped Josh avoid making an impulsive decision to drop out of school, which might have sabotaged his ability to achieve the very goals he was hoping to meet in the first place.

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Fun Ways to Train Our Brains

January 23rd, 2012




I am not a big game player.  Solitaire resides on my desktop for times when I am on hold for a long time or need a brain break from work.  I enjoy training and coaching, but sometimes I need to shift my mind to something different.  We all need to take breaks, as long as the games don’t become the focus of our time and energy on a daily basis.

While perusing the Sunday paper, I read about a new brain training application (app), called Brain Trainer by Lumosity. I downloaded the free trial to my iPhone and checked it out. Well, I was hooked very quickly.  After sitting at my desk writing articles and paying bills, the Brain Trainer games really helped me shift my thoughts get a clearer perspective.  And, I must admit that I had difficulty  dividing numbers in my head for one of the games.  That was the clincher!  I ordered the full package online for use on my computer and my iPhone and went for the low cost option to add family members. None of us are getting younger and this is a fun way to exercise your brain.

Whether you choose this program or another, I encourage you to do something to exercise your brain. It is never too soon and never too late!

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Book Excerpt: Communication With the Client’s Care Team

January 18th, 2012




Oftentimes, young people with ADHD will have other support people besides a coach in their lives, from psychiatrists to educational specialists, from teachers and tutors to family doctors and neurologists. Although it is not your job as the coach to manage the whole care plan for the client, it is often important to have open lines of communication with one or more of these care providers or allied professionals to make for smooth transitions between types of care and to enhance the multimodal treatment plan.

As a coach, you may want to take some time to think about the degree to which you are willing to communicate with the client’s care team and whether this communication is included in your standard fees. In my case, I communicate with the client’s care team on an as-needed base, and I include basic, brief communication in my normal fees. This may involve an initial phone call to the client’s therapist (with client permission) to let the therapist know I’ll be coaching the client and to ask whether there are any important issues I should be made aware of before moving forward with coaching.

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Guest Blogger & Coach Mentor, Loretta Spindel, JD, PCC

January 16th, 2012




This is Loretta Spindel from CoachTime, LLC and I am the group mentoring facilitator for JST Coaching. I would like to talk to you about our JST Group Mentoring program.   Many coaches have commented to me after taking the course that the information they received was invaluable to them; they love the interactive format of the classes, and they felt much more confident about how to handle those “difficult” situations or clients.

Our group mentoring classes enhance your training by offering you a forum in which to ask questions, discuss real-life coaching scenarios; receive expert coaching advice and so much more.  We discuss actual coaching and client issues and offer techniques and strategies to help you coach effectively with difficult or challenging clients.   As the mentor/facilitator, you will receive the benefit of my extensive coaching experience as I offer possible solutions and insights, as well as, the suggestions and advice from the other coaches on the call.   Our mentoring classes are interactive, informative and lots of fun! Mentoring helps coaches increase their confidence and competence to handle any coaching situation.

In addition, we will highlight the coaching competencies that apply to the coaching skills and situations being discussed, and you will be earning mentoring hours credit that you can apply toward a credential in the future.

So whether you are a coach in training, just starting your practice, or an experienced coach interested in fine tuning your coaching skills, please join us for our next class which will run for four (4) consecutive weeks on Wednesdays at 12:00PM ET beginning February 8th.  The cost is only $200 for the full four hours.  Sign up today!

Want to connect with me before signing up?  lspindel@iconriver.com

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Feedback & Testimonials: Great Marketing for Coach Training

January 12th, 2012




I am grateful for the opportunity to train coaches and aspiring coaches on the intricacies of coaching teens & young adults with ADHD.  It is fun, inspiring and a great learning experience for me as well as for the class participants.  Each class is unique and the information shared during our weekly lecture and discussion hour and the role playing segments bring up questions and comments which make for a better training program.  That’s not to say that the training needs much work, but I am always open to suggestions.  The feedback I receive during classes and in the post training surveys is helpful and greatly appreciated.  We have updated our reading list, added more information on executive functioning to the course appendix and now offer a private bridge line for trainee practice between classes.

The testimonials we receive are a gift and make the best marketing “pitches” for JST Coaching and our programs. Thanks to all who kindly contributed these heartwarming thoughts.

Coaching Teens & College Students with ADHD:

“I have nothing but rave reviews for this course! I finished a life coach training course and went immediately into Jodi’s course afterwards. It worked out WONDERFULLY for me. I got just the specialized instruction that I needed. I am ready to dive headfirst into coaching the high school and college population!”

“To experience Jodi’s work exceeded my highest expectations even after reading her book. Bravo Jodi, WHAT a gifted talent you are.”

“This is a very well designed and executed course. In addition to the terrific substantive learning, I really appreciated the terrific appendix of forms and other materials that we were free to adapt for our own purposes, and the attention to the practical aspects of marketing our services.”

“This was my first coaching class of any kind. I was so pleased with the content, trainers, and reading. What a valuable class whether you are actively coaching or just beginning. The excellence of presentation, role plays, and discussion was invaluable with like minds who are passionate about helping ADHD young people succeed”

Ready to learn more or to sign up for a class? Enrollment is now open.  I hope you join the hundreds of people who have trained with JST Coaching!

 

 

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Book Excerpt: What coaching is not

January 11th, 2012




After explaining what coaching is, I also explain to the parent what coaching is not. Coaching is not therapy. Coaching is not homework help. Coaching is not monitoring the young person and then reporting back to the parent. Equally important, I let parents know that coaching is not doing the work for the client or enabling him or her to be dependent.

Some of the phrases I might use to explain to parents what coaching is and what coaching is not include the following:

  • “Coaching occurs in partnership with the coach and the adolescent (client). After the initial intake session, the parent is not present during sessions.”
  • “Coaching revolves around the client’s goals, not the parent’s goals.”
  • “The parent’s input from the prescreening and intake session will be taken into consideration and reviewed with the client as we design goals and action steps for success.”
  • “I employ life coaching and ADHD coaching methods, which go beyond academic coaching. This means I support your child in meeting goals that support all areas of his life—academic, as well as other areas, such as social, emotional, and vocational.”
  • “Because I’m not an academic tutor but a coach, I can help motivate your child to do her own homework if this is one of the goals we have set for coaching, but I won’t do her homework for her.”

As I go about explaining to the parent what coaching is and what coaching is not, I am also informing the parent about the coaching expectations and boundaries.

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Coaching, Connections & CHADD

January 9th, 2012




Did you know that CHADD’s 25th Anniversary Annual International Conference on ADHD is taking place in San Francisco, CA, November 8-10 this year?  And, are you wondering why I am writing about this in January?! Well, for anyone interested in submitting a conference proposal, the DEADLINE is January 31, 2012.

Here are 5 reasons to submit a proposal for consideration this year.

1. Coaching is a growing field – many new ideas to share with the ADHD professional community.
2. Teach others about your coaching strategies and share your successes. Many sessions are approved for coaching CCEUS, so you are helping others get needed training.
3. Enjoy watching your audience nod their heads and smile when your topic hits home.
4. Receive acknowledgement for sharing your expertise. Please remember that this is NOT an appropriate venue to market your services or your products. You can do that outside your session.
5. When you are a presenter, others will know where to find you at the conference!

And, here are 5 reasons to mark your calendar and plan your budget so you can join us in San Francisco:

1. Meet well-known ADHD professionals and learn from their expertise.
2. Make connections with coaches from around the world.
3. Meet prospective coaching clients.
4. Get CCEUs for attending coaching track sessions
5. Expand your knowledge about ADHD and cutting edge research

I hope to see you in San Francisco in November for coaching, learning, connections and fun.

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Coaching Children – Can You Really Do That?

January 5th, 2012




I have been coaching children, ages 8 -12, since 1997. It was a natural for me – a combination of core coaching skills and a basic behavioral model for change.  The feedback I have received from parents over the years is that the coaching made a positive impact on their children and on their ability to parent with a more positive outlook.  By coaching the children individually and with their parents, I have seen a greater sense of awareness in the children and a willingness to work with the parent/coach “team”.

There are many in the coaching field who don’t believe that it is possible to coach children.  Do children understand the coaching process?  Do children understand goals and accountability?  If a coach asks a powerful, thoughtful question of a 10 year old, does he have the intellectual capacity to answer it?  The answer is a resounding YES to all of the above!

Think about it… In coach training we are taught to meet the client where the client is.  This works with children, too.  We often don’t give children credit for their level of understanding and intuition. When you, the coach, trust in them, they will communicate with you.

If you are interested in coaching children, enroll our upcoming teleclass, Coaching Children with ADHD that starts on January 17, 2012.  It is a 4 week, 6 hour class to help you get a clearer picture of the coaching process for children.  The course will include:

  • How to shift the coaching process for success with children ages 8-12
  • How to include parents in the coaching process
  • Tools for accountability and rewards for children and families
  • Handouts for use in the classroom and at home
  • Role playing and Q&A during each session

 

I hope you choose to sign up and discover the joy of coaching children!

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Empowering Youth with ADHD by Jodi Sleeper-Triplett, MCC, SCAC, provides coaches, parents and professionals with a comprehensive guide to improving the lives of youth with AD/HD through coaching.

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